Making the most of a sabbatical

On page 72 of "Beautiful Outlaw," John Eldredge writes about what led him to take a sabbatical. He was physically exhausted, angry with people and felt little hope.

I knew this had to be more than a vacation. The sabbatical would be wasted if I didn't get to the bottom of the issues that caused me to need a sabbatical in the first place. It needed to be open-heart surgery. But my inner world felt like an Oriental rug of issues so intertwined I couldn't sort it out. Early one morning, while I was still lying in bed, looking at the ceiling and asking God to come for me, Jesus asked, Would you like to know what it is? 'Oh, yes, please, Lord,' I said. This is all one thing. Then a pause for effect. I'm thinking, one thing -- this is all just one thing?! You don't look to me -- you look to yourself.

The truth of it was indisputable the moment Jesus finished speaking. All the years of striving, sacrifice, loneliness, heroic exertion -- so much of what I took to be noble about my life was suddenly exposed as godless self-reliance. Utterly godless. I felt naked, like a man lying on an examining table who had just been shown the X-rays of his bone cancer. It was horrifying. And wonderful. Finally, the truth was out.

Sometimes open-heart surgery to take a pause and look at Jesus is what we need.