Stasi married a frightened, driven man who had an affair with his work because he wouldn't risk engaging a woman he sensed he wasn't enough for. I wasn't mean, I wasn't evil. I was nice. And let me tell you, a hesitant man is the last thing in the world a woman needs. She needs a lover and a warrior, not a Really Nice Guy. Her worst fear was realized -- I will never really be loved, never really be fought for. And so she hid some more.
Years into our marriage I found myself blindsided by it all. Where is the beauty I once saw? What happened to the woman I fell in love with? I didn't really expect an answer to my question; it was more a shout of rage than a desperate plea. But Jesus answered me anyway. She's still in there, but she's captive. Are you willing to go in after her? I realized that I had -- like so many men -- married for safety. I married a woman I thought would never challenge me as a man. Stasi adored me; what more did I need to do? I wanted to look like the knight, but I didn't want to bleed like one. I was deeply mistaken about the whole arrangement. I didn't know about the tower, or the dragon, or what my strength was for. The number one problem between men and their women is that we men, when asked to truly fight for her. . .hesitate. We are still seeking to save ourselves; we have forgotten the deep pleasure of spilling our life for another.As the holidays are upon us, remember men that you might have to stick up for your wife in front of your family of origin. I know that I will.
Posts
