Marriage is. . .love and war

I recently finished reading "Love & War:  Finding the Marriage You've Dreamed Of," the latest book by John and Stasi Eldredge. In the book, they are very open about the ups and downs of their own marriage, and what it takes for a marriage to succeed.

In one passage (p. 65-66), John talks about an experience one morning related to our insatiable desires:

This time of year it is still dark at 5:30, and I just sat there, holding the cup in my hands, letting the warmth seep into me. My soul felt like it was coming back from some distant place. Where does it wander off to at night? I have no idea. My dreams are a vague memory. Sitting cross-legged on the sofa, cradling my cup, I began to turn my thoughts toward God. It was so good to know that I had time to linger and just be with God. What are you saying this morning, Jesus? What do I need?

A few moments of quiet, and then I hear, My love.

I'm not in crisis. Yesterday was a good day. We held some pretty energetic meetings at work; it was fun. When I got home, I fixed the leaking kitchen sink -- a triumph that makes a man feel mighty fine. (I tried to help Stasi relate, 'Imagine you just lost five pounds today.') After dinner I finished a book I'd been enjoying. Stasi and I are in a good place. We snuggled when we went to bed. But all that was yesterday. As I am regaining consciousness this morning, coming back to myself, none of that remains. My soul is needy again. Good grief -- I feel like a sponge. I can take in so much in a day, almost ravenously, feel pretty good, but the next day I am dried out. Again.

This is the nature of our condition. All of us are leaky vessels. Sandy soil. When it comes to happiness, our soul is like a colander, a tire with a nail in it, our grandfather's memory. It feels like there is a homeless person inside of us, wandering around pushing a shopping cart.

This is brutal on a marriage.

What happens is that we end up looking to our spouses to fill us up. That's too much pressure, and of course we're going to be disappointed. Jesus is the only one who can quench our desires.

Here's to a successful 2010!

At my church this past Sunday, the pastor shared three key points that we need to follow through on in order to fulfill God's vision for our lives.

1. You need to let go of your worries.

• Worry is one of the ways that we play God.
• Prayer is a primary way to let go of worries.
• See Proverbs 12:25, Psalm 46:1-3, Matthew 6:27, Psalm 55:22, and Philippians 4:6-7.

      2.  You need to let go of your wounds.

• Emotional wounds take longer to heal than physical wounds.
• Forgiveness is the way to let go of our wounds.
• See Psalm 109:22 and Ephesians 4:31-32.

      3.  You need to let go of your wrongs.

• Confession is the only way to get rid of our wrongs.
• See Isaiah 59:2, Psalm 32:3, Psalm 51:9-12, 1 John 1:9, and Job 14:14-17.

I hope that you all are able to partner with God in 2010 to do all that He has called you to do!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas! Here's a great gift idea -- a well for a community that doesn't have clean water. Some friends of mine, Tom and Deb Henderson, are raising money to purchase a well for a community through World Vision. Lack of clean water and proper sanitation kills 3,975 children every day.

The Hendersons are doing this in memory of their son, Ian Henderson, who died Feb. 19. To donate, visit the FirstGiving page.

The Ultimate Journey

I recently traveled to Des Moines to participate in a session called "The Ultimate Journey:  Christ-Life Solution Phase 1." The best way to describe Christ-Life Solution is from its Web site -- "a discipleship ministry focused on helping participants move past head knowledge into an incredible love relationship with God."

I would like to say that the three-day session was "good," and it was. A more appropriate adjective, though, is emotionally draining.

Think about your life and all of the lies and put-downs people shot your direction. Christ-Life Solution takes through all of those hurts and replaces those lies with the truth -- the truth of Jesus' love for you. It's good stuff, but very exhausting. After I was done, I just wanted to lay in bed.

A key part of the program is teaching participants how to be their own adult allies. (Think the movie "The Kid.")

It was a very worthwhile process, and I highly recommend it to anyone. (You might want to go a time other during the middle of winter. Des Moines got slammed with a blizzard while I was down there. Our group persisted and still got together, though.)

Faith that the coma will end

Timothy Robinson, a high school football player in Alabama, suffered a major head injury during a recent football game. In a story on al.com, his parents recall what happened and how they know that Timothy will make it through:

Dr. Bill Admire, one of (the high school) team doctors, helped Robinson and played an instrumental role in getting the teen to the hospital quickly. Evelyn McGhee said she hopes that her son's situation will motivate every high school team to have an emergency room doctor on the sideline every week.

She said Admire's expertise kept her son from dying.

'It had to be God that intervened and had Dr. Admire there,' she said, 'because never had I seen a doctor in the stands or anywhere. And even the trainer said she's never had a doctor trained in emergency medicine' available to help a player on the field.

'It was just fantastic and an amazing thing to me to have him there. I just thank God for him.'

The McGhees also praised the coaching staff, administration and football team for their support...Said Ben McGhee: 'God spoke to me and told me everything would be all right.'

How would God run the New York City Marathon?

Ryan Hall, a marathon runner, looks to God for his inspiration. He thinks about how God would run a marathon. In fact, Hall, while working and training hard, focuses on generosity. He set up a foundation to combat poverty and give inner-city children a chance to run.

According to the Times Online, Hall was motivated by God during a down time:

His disappearing dream of Olympic triumph was about to end in a disappointing tenth place, when he says that God spoke to him. 'He told me I had everything I needed,' he recalled.

Hall already has experienced success. He's the fastest American-born marathon runner and finished third in the Boston Marathon.

An alcoholic's redemption

In chapter six of "Life's Healing Choices," Bill, a believer in recovery from alcoholism, shares his tragic story. Bill's father was an alcoholic as well, and that tendency to depend on the bottle rubbed off on Bill.

On February 26, 1999, tragedy occurred in Bill's life when he got into an accident while driving drunk (p. 197-198):

It was 8:40 on a Friday night, and I was anxious to get home. I was less than half a mile from my house as I approached the crest of a hill driving way too fast. A red Toyota coming from the opposite direction was turning left. I first saw them as they crossed into my lane. I am not sure if they ever saw me. There was almost no time to react. I lunged for the brake and started to turn the wheel to avoid them. Impact, airbags, screeching, screaming -- then silence. I was amazed to find that I could get out of my car. I didn't think the other car fared as well, but I was too dazed to be able to tell. It wasn't long before the sounds of sirens announced the arrival of the police and paramedics. I was taken away from the scene, tested, and booked. Shortly before I was put in Orange County Jail, the officer notified me that there were two people in the car that I hit. A 50-year-old woman had been thrown from the car upon impact and died immediately. Her husband was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital.

The accident radically changed Bill's life, but God took care of him. God ensured that Bill was able to keep his job. God ensured that people were able to give Bill rides places. God ensured that Bill would be able to go through Celebrate Recovery to deal with his alcoholism. God made sure that the situation would further His plan.