Forgiveness between daughter and father

On pp. 130-131 of "Getting Anger Under Control," Neil T. Anderson shares a woman's story of amazing grace:

When I was young, I was sexually abused by my father. This wasn't a frequent event by any means. I only remember it happening once. I don't recall details, but I remember enough to know that things happened that shouldn't have happened between a father and daughter. When I was saved in 1988, I was 35 years old. I felt a release from anger almost immediately. There was an internal peace I had never known.

However, seven years later I found myself still struggling around my father's birthday and Father's Day -- those occasions that required a card or call. I never was able to pick a card that said 'I love you' or any other intimate sentiment. It was troubling to me, and so finally one day during my devotions I brought this up to the Lord. I asked, 'Lord, why do I go through these struggles around these times?' The answer came quickly and clearly. It was simply, 'You don't respect him.' I started to object, laying all the groundwork for the argument that 'one needs to earn respect,' and so on.

I realized after a few minutes how useless my arguments were. All I heard was silence. I asked the Lord, 'Is this a sin against You?' Again, the response was quick and clear. 'Yes.' I felt devastated, but at the same time free. I confessed the sin, and then the Holy Spirit graciously flooded me with memories of the times my father had done things that deserved my respect, but I had deliberately withheld it.

Within a few weeks of this experience, I was talking to my dad on the phone. TALKING! We had never had a conversation before. This conversation lasted almost 15 minutes! That was the longest I had ever talked to my dad. At the end of the conversation we both said that we loved each other. It wasn't just words, but something we both felt sincerely.

My dad passed away this past February, which was about four years after that devotional time. When I was visiting him in his last few weeeks, I asked him for forgiveness for the times I was unkind and disrespectful. I also told him that I forgave him. I didn't go into detail of what it was I was forgiving him for; it was sufficient that we both knew. The very next day I asked him if he would pray to Jesus and ask for forgiveness of his sins. He did! I praise God for this, as he had always been extremely resistant to the gospel. I praise God for the words He gave to me at the end of my dad's earthly life. I have peace knowing that my dad is with God now and that I will see him again in eternity.

If this woman can forgive her father, we surely can forgive those who have hurt us.

We are the ones being tested

On p. 143 of "The Bondage Breaker", Neil T. Anderson relates a story that demonstrates the reality of deceiving spirits:

When I was a pastor, some of the members of my church unwittingly yielded to the temptation to put God to the test. I had a dear friend who was dying of cancer. But word spread around the church that four independent 'witnesses' all testified that Dick wasn't going to die because God had told them so. Several exclaimed, 'Isn't it wonderful that God is going to heal Dick!' Three weeks later Dick was dead.

If God was the One who told these four people that Dick wasn't going to die, then what does that make God? A liar. But is God a liar? Of course not; He's the truth. The originator of this 'good news' was obviously the father of lies. Deceiving spirits had circulated a lie about Dick in an attempt to create a false hope and destory the congregation's confidence in God.

God is under no obligation to us; He is under obligation only to Himself. There is no way you can cleverly word a prayer so that God must respond to it. That not only distorts the meaning of prayer but puts us in the position of manipulating God. The righteous shall live by faith in the written Word of God and not demand that God prove Himself in response to our whims or wishes, no matter how noble they may be. We are the ones being tested, not God.

Take every thought captive

I'm currently reading "The Bondage Breaker", a book by Neil T. Anderson on overcoming negative thoughts, irrational feelings and habitual sins.

One interesting passage on p. 62-63 details an interaction that the author had with a student named Jay:

'I have a very close walk with God,' Jay boasted.

'What do you mean by that?' I asked.

'Well, when I leave school at noon each day, I ask God where He wants me to go for lunch. I usually hear a thought like Burger King, so I go to Burger King. Then I ask Him what He wants me to eat. If the thought comes to order a Whopper, I order a Whopper.'

'What about your church attendance?' I continued.

'I go every Sunday wherever God tells me to go. And for the last three Sundays, God has told me to go to a Mormon church.'

Jay sincerely wanted to do what God wanted him to do, but he was being deceived. God was not directing him to a Mormon church, and He is too good a nutritionist to suggest Whoppers all the time.

What Jay should have done is take every one of his thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ.

Why do we get angry?

Anger is quite a powerful emotion. It can really cause a lot of harm and pain both in the person getting angry and in the person to whom the anger is directed.

In "Getting Anger Under Control", one of the authors, Rich Miller, asks the Lord why Miller got so mad at his son Brian:

The Lord reminded me that the fruit of the Spirit is self-control, not spouse or child control. By angrily trying to control others so I could fulfill my own purpose or satisfy my own desire for comfort, I was not acting in love.

This helped to put anger into perspective for me. We cannot change how people act. We can, however, change how we react.

Saints and sinners

I find it interesting that so many of us are quick to admit that we're sinners, but reluctant to admit that we're saints. I just overheard a conversation in the elevator at work this week in which two women were talking about how they definitely are sinners.

Could it be that, as Christians (and on top of that, Midwesterners), we consider it inappropriate to say good things about ourselves?

Neil T. Anderson explains what it means to be a saint on page 73 of Victory Over the Darkness:

Being a saint who is alive and free in Christ does not mean spiritual maturity or sinlessness, but it does provide the basis for hope and future growth. Despite God's provision for us in Christ, we are still far less than perfect. We are saints who sin.

Satan wants us to think of ourselves as sinners. He wants us to feel bad about ourselves. We cannot listen to Satan. God has given us spiritual life! It's time to live as the saints that we are!

Others are children of God, too

It's so easy to put each other down, to think negative thoughts about others. That's what Satan wants. He wants us all to be divided. Christ, on the other hand, wants us to be united.

Neil T. Anderson, on page 68 of Victory Over the Darkness, writes about believing the truth about others:

...there are no losers in the kingdom of God -- none whatsoever. How can children of God be losers when they have already gained eternal life? As important as it is for you to believe in your true identity as a child of God, it is equally important that you perceive other Christians for who they are in Christ and treat them accordingly. I believe that the greatest determinant for how we treat people is how we perceive them.

Let's start treating each other the way God sees us. God sees Christians as saints, and we all deserve to treat each other that way.

Getting right with each other by getting right with God

It's been said that to truly love another person, you need to love yourself first. I have struggled with self-esteem, therefore making it challenging for me to love another person. But I'm getting better at discovering who I am in Christ through Neil T. Anderson's book Victory Over the Darkness.

In his book, Anderson relates the story on p. 63 of a husband and wife who were on the verge of divorce -- until they realized who they were in Christ:

This couple discovered that getting right with each other began with getting right with God. Getting right with God always begins with settling once and for all the fact that God is your loving Father and you are His accepted child. That is the foundational truth from which you live.

We are children of God. We need to accept that He loves us, and we need to love and accept ourselves. Then it will be easier for us to love others.