The voice of God

At the recent Wild at Heart Boot Camp that I attended, the times of silence in solitude were as powerful as the sessions shared with other men.

During one of times of silence, we were encouraged to listen for God's voice as we asked Him two specific questions. It was dark. I journeyed into the forest and asked.

God, what do you think of me? I love you and you're special.
Father, do you have a name for me? Brave One.

"Brave One?" I have never thought of myself as brave. But if my Father thinks that I'm good enough and I have what it takes, perhaps I am brave.

The next day, we were encouraged to ask God a question about our future path. After all, God reveals our path step by step.

This time it was daylight. I journeyed into the forest and asked.

God, what is next for me? Fathering.

Now, I'm not expecting any more kids. But I do have one child -- an 11-year-old son, and I know that the father-son relationship is very important. I need to be pouring more into his life. Masculinity validates masculinity.

Movies reflecting the masculine journey

I recently attended an excellent Wild at Heart Boot Camp in Indianola, Iowa. During the Boot Camp, scenes from 20 movies reflecting the masculine journey were shown. Here's the list, in case you want to check them out:

1. Robin Hood
2. The Eagle
3. Never Cry Wolf
4. Open Range
5. Gladiator
6. Lord of the Rings
7. City Slickers
8. Good Will Hunting
9. Braveheart
10. Jerry McGuire
11. The Kid
12. Saving Private Ryan
13. Les Miserables
14. Tears of the Sun
15. October Sky
16. The Rookie
17. Kingdom of Heaven
18. Groundhog Day
19. Forrest Gump
20. Secondhand Lions

Movies provide inspiration for our lives. They can cause us to reflect and consider our role in God's epic story.

Ransomed Heart in Iowa this weekend

This upcoming weekend I get to travel to Indianola, Iowa, for a Wild at Heart Boot Camp. There will be hiking, climbing, swimming, zip lines and many activities to bond with other men.

It will be a time of guided personal reflection and an expedition of the heart. Bart Hansen of the Ransomed Heart team will be there.

I expect to be changed in a good way and will share my insights in future posts.

Gifts from God

I know that, on at least one of my birthday parties as a child, I was ungrateful for the gifts that people gave me. In "The Good and Beautiful God" by James Bryan Smith, he compares watching a child open birthday presents to our gifts from God:

I once watched a child open her presents at a birthday party that all of her friends and their parents attended. She especially wanted a certain gift that she did not get. One by one she opened each package, and the child who gave it watched, smiling with anticipation, only to watch her snub her nose and push the package aside. It was painfully embarrassing to all of us, especially to the birthday girl's parents. It was a startling example of ingratitude. She was given gift after gift, and all she could think about was the one gift she wanted. I later learned that the gift she wanted was neither precious nor valuable, but was inferior to many of the gifts she received.

As I drove home I thought about how awful that experience was, and how spoiled and ungrateful that little girl was. Then the Spirit whispered, 'Are you so different?' I thought about how often I focus on something I want God to do for me, and neglect the ten thousand things -- often better things -- he has already done. I fuss about my 'cups,' little and large (not having enough money to do this or that, a problem at work, a strain in a relationship), and never once stop and thank God that I have eyes to see. If I lost my sight and had a million dollars, I would gladly pay it to get my eyesight back. My eyes are worth a million dollars. So is my heart. And my ears. And my wife. And my children. If I were wise, I would spend time each day thanking God for the 'vast treasure' he has given me. I could start, but I could never stop.

Thank you, God for your tremendous blessings.

College and parents

Autumn brings with it the end of a season. For some parents, that involves dropping their child off at college.

Author John Eldredge recently shared in a letter what it has been like to drop his boys off at college:

Luke, our youngest, is heading off to college. Stasi (John's wife) would tell you that dropping Sam and Blaine off for their freshman years, and driving away, were two of the hardest things we have ever done. This year Stasi and I will drop Luke off and return this time to an empty house, where laughter and rowdiness and wrestling matches and family dinners have prevailed for many years. A beautiful season is drawing to a close.

Knowing this, in his immense kindness, Jesus gave our family a really sweet gift in July. You might recall from reading our books that the Tetons in Wyoming have been a special place for us over the years. We started camping there annually 15 summers ago, when Luke was four. It is a place filled with memory and tradition. I didn't think we could get there this year, but during a morning prayer walk in June Jesus said, Go to the Tetons. So we did, and it was very sweet.

Fifteen years ago we picnicked at a place along Cottonwood Creek. The boys - then 4, 6 and 8 - ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and played in the stream. For some reason we've never been back to that spot in all our years of adventuring there. Not till two weeks ago, when we found ourselves picnicking along the same creek. Our sons, now young men - 19, 21 and 23 - were laughing, telling stories of their adventures, talking about girls and marriage (!) and it was as poignant and transcendent as a moment can get. Time stood still. Stasi and I looked at each other and smiled. Remember?

As our trip drew to a close, Sam headed back to his life in California and Blaine left early for a class he needed. We could feel the chill of the coming fall when our family will no longer be the same. As you can imagine, I was pretty tender and very ready for tears; feelings of sorrow and loss were beginning to break my heart. It felt quite natural, and appropriate. Then came a great surprise.

I paused and asked Jesus, How do you want me to be looking at this Lord? He replied, This is a good season in your life John; you are not losing your family at all; your family is growing, maturing and it is a blessed time. In a moment my entire state of being changed. Where I was ready for days of downheartedness and embracing loss as the fundamental truth of life, Jesus rescued me. Simply because I asked, How do you want me to be looking at this Lord?

What an excellent reminder to go to the Lord with everything. Even though my son is only (!) 11 years old, I'm sure that I will be teary-eyed once he goes off to college.

Finding our true father

Earthly fathers can let us down. Our true father, however, always is there for us. Take a look at this story from p. 63 of "The Good and Beautiful God" by James Bryan Smith:

I met a pastor from England whose own story beautifully illustrates what it means to trust God as our Father. I asked Carl how he came to be a Christian. He said that when we was growing up he seldom went to church. He was very close with his dad, though. When he was 14, his father died in a tragic accident at work, which completely shattered Carl's life. To numb his pain, he started getting into a lot of fights at school and soon was abusing alcohol. But nothing seemed to work.

When Carl was 17 a friend invited him to what Carl thought was a party, complete with binge drinking, so he agreed. It was actually a 'Christian house party,' which is common in England and is more like a retreat. People go to a big home and hang out for a few days of conversation, worship and recreation. When he found out, it was too late to turn back. After the first two days he still felt bitter toward God. But during a time of worship on the final day, Sunday morning, he heard a distinct voice that said, 'I am your Father. Come to me.' Carl said he immediately began to sob, and for the first time since his father died his heart began to heal.

Thanks to that house party, Carl found his true father -- and has helped others to find the true father as well.

Dealing with the death of a child

In "The Good and Beautiful God," author James Bryan Smith shares his reflections on his daughter Madeline's death:

My mind went over the last few years, thinking about the pain of hearing the news from the doctors, the countless sleepless nights on hospital floors, and the dark and rainy day we placed her body in the earth. I turned to God and said, without thinking, 'Maybe it would have been better if she had never been born.'

That was when I received one of the clearest experiences of God responding to me that I've ever had in my life. On this day, at that moment, a little voice penetrated my mind, the voice of a little girl, a voice I had never heard but immediately recognized as Madeline's. 'Daddy, you should never say that. If I had never been born, I would not be here now. I am so happy here in heaven, and one day you and Mom and Jacob will come and see me, and we will live forever together. And there is more good that has happened because of me that you can't see now but will one day understand.'

I immediately repented of my despicable thoughts and crumpled to the ground in tears. I was thankful to hear such words.

There is always the promise of heaven.