Surviving a breakup

A breakup is never easy -- particularly one's first. In "Beautiful Outlaw: Experiencing the Playful, Disruptive, Extravagant Personality of Jesus," John Eldredge recalls on page 190 how Jesus encouraged him to look at Eldredge's first breakup from a different perspective:

Last year, as a wise old sage was praying with me through some of the painful memories of my life, I was immediately reminded of the time in middle school when my first girlfriend broke my heart. These wounds can linger for a lifetime if you let them -- the first cut is the deepest, and all that. We asked Jesus to take me back to the memory. I saw us, the girl and me; it was that fateful summer day. We were in the living room, just as it happened. Then I saw Jesus enter the room. He was quite stern with her, and it surprised me. That mattered to you? I wondered. Very much, he said.

Then Jesus turned to me. I felt his love. I realized I could let the whole thing go. It was so healing. To understand that Jesus is angry about what happened to you is very, very important in understanding his personality but also in your relationship with him and for your healing. What I love about these encounters is that every time -- every time -- Jesus is so true to his real personality. Sometimes fierce, sometimes gentle, always generous, and often very playful.

Ask Jesus to take you back to your memories that need healing.

We need love

In his monthly letter, John Eldredge recently wrote about love. Why love? Because God told him to write about that topic:

Over the past several months -- months which for me have had their fill of middle-of-the-night-spiritual trials -- I have often asked God, 'What do I pray, Lord? What do I need?' And his answer has been, My love. That my Love would fill your heart, fill you and surround you. And my response has been along the lines of 'Really?' It seems like guidance would go a long ways right now, or breakthrough, or angelic help or how about power and glory?

God seems to feel that love is far more urgent, or necessary.

I found myself drawn to Ephesians 3:14-19. . .the last sentence grabbed me: 'That you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.' Yes, that's what I want! I want to be filled with all the fullness of God!

May we all be filled with the fullness of God.

God never gives up on you

Last week at my church, one of the people from the congregation gave his testimony about how God had pursued him.

The man had drifted from God and had troubles with his wife. He recently heard a voice every morning for a week saying, "God loves you."

My fellow churchgoer repented of his sins, reconciled with his wife, and got baptized! Thank you, Lord, for pursuing us.

I love you, God

Last week I was at church and the worship leader said something that really hit me.

He started out by asking everyone in the congregation who had ever been in love to raise their hands. Most people did.

Then he said, "You know when you tell someone 'I love you'? It feels a lot better when they say something like 'I love you, too' instead of no response or 'ditto'."

He continued, "God is trying to love us in so many ways, and I bet that he wants us to say back, 'I love you, God.'"

The worship leader was right. I love you, God.

What love is

At my church this past Sunday, the speaker made an interesting point. He said that 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 (the 'love is patient, love is kind' verse) has been used so much at weddings that people have glossed over what love really is.

He argued that a better approach to love can be found in Romans 12:9-21:

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.


Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.


Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord. On the contrary:


'If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.'


Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Leading our hearts in love by following Romans 12:9-21 definitely seems challenging, but it is what we are called to do.

Walking in love

Joyce Meyer had an interesting column last week about putting God's love in your relationships. She shared a story about how God convicted her of her selfish ways:

I used to feel as if I was fighting the devil from daylight till dark, seven days a week. One morning about 11 years ago I discovered that the primary reason for my struggle was that I wasn’t walking in love.

My husband, Dave, and I had just returned from doing a conference. We went to McDonald’s to have some coffee and read our mail. Both of us were very tired.

When I’m tired, I like to sit in the sun to be revived. But in order to sit in the sun, we needed to sit in one of the booths near the windows, and by the time we arrived, there was only one left. So Dave said, 'You go get the booth, and I’ll go get the coffee.'

As I started walking, I saw out of the corner of my eye a little old man heading for the same booth. I stepped up my pace a bit and beat him to it. Fortunately, he knew the lady who was sitting in the booth right behind us and asked if he could sit with her.

She answered, 'Yeah, you can sit here. She beat you to it, huh?'

The worst part of the story is that the man was crippled.

God convicted me right then and there. 'Aren’t you cute?' He asked me. 'Here you are, a born-again, baptized-in-the-Holy-Ghost preacher, in the middle of teaching an ‘anointed’ series on love, and you’re racing a crippled man for the last seat at McDonald’s!'

Meyer goes on to say that by giving up the need to be right, she has been more in tune with the needs of others -- and has had much better relationships as a result.

Love one another

This past weekend's hermitage retreat at Pacem in Terris was relaxing. While God did not audibly speak to me (I guess that I cannot force Him to do that), I received a general feeling about something that I need to work on in my life.

I specifically need to work on the second great commandment: loving others as myself. God loves us and we love each other through our relationships.

Convicted

I recently had an out-of-body experience that convicted me of my wrongs and showed me the path that I should take. I was sitting at my kitchen table with my wife and my son, started not feeling too well, and zoned out.

I then saw an image of the three of us sitting at the kitchen table, and I could see the impact that my temper has had on my family over the years. In my wife I saw extreme sadness. In my son, I could see that he had a mix of emotions and couldn't identify his feelings except for the anger that he felt.

I realized then and there that I need to fully love and accept myself and my family. I was convicted that if I do not change my behavior, I would be throwing away the greatest gift that God ever gave to me. It all starts with self-love. I deserve love, because God is love. And my family deserves my love.