Get in or get out

On p. 192-193 of "Wild at Heart," John Eldredge relates how marriage involves a battle:

Will you fight for her? That's the question Jesus asked me many years ago, right before our tenth anniversary, right at the time I was wondering what had happened to the woman I married. You're on the fence, John, he said. Get in or get out. I knew what he was saying -- stop being a nice guy and act like a warrior. Play the man. I brought flowers, took her to dinner, and began to move back toward her in my heart. But I knew there was more. That night, before we went to bed, I prayed for Stasi in a way I'd never prayed for her before. Out loud, before all the heavenly hosts, I stepped between her and the forces of darkness that had been coming against her. Honestly, I didn't really know what I was doing, only that I needed to take on the dragon. All hell broke loose. Everything we've learned about spiritual warfare began that night. And you know what happened? Stasi got free, the tower of her depression gave way as I began to truly fight for her.

Men, we need to fight for our wives over and over.

Making the most of a sabbatical

On page 72 of "Beautiful Outlaw," John Eldredge writes about what led him to take a sabbatical. He was physically exhausted, angry with people and felt little hope.

I knew this had to be more than a vacation. The sabbatical would be wasted if I didn't get to the bottom of the issues that caused me to need a sabbatical in the first place. It needed to be open-heart surgery. But my inner world felt like an Oriental rug of issues so intertwined I couldn't sort it out. Early one morning, while I was still lying in bed, looking at the ceiling and asking God to come for me, Jesus asked, Would you like to know what it is? 'Oh, yes, please, Lord,' I said. This is all one thing. Then a pause for effect. I'm thinking, one thing -- this is all just one thing?! You don't look to me -- you look to yourself.

The truth of it was indisputable the moment Jesus finished speaking. All the years of striving, sacrifice, loneliness, heroic exertion -- so much of what I took to be noble about my life was suddenly exposed as godless self-reliance. Utterly godless. I felt naked, like a man lying on an examining table who had just been shown the X-rays of his bone cancer. It was horrifying. And wonderful. Finally, the truth was out.

Sometimes open-heart surgery to take a pause and look at Jesus is what we need.

Providence and the Shackleton expedition

"South: The Story of Shackleton's 1914-1917 Expedition" is an amazing tale of leadership. As noted on p. 116 of the book, though, Shackleton had a leader of his own:

When I look back at those days I have no doubt that Providence guided us, not only across those snowfields, but across the storm-white sea that separated Elephant Island from our landing place on South Georgia.

I know that during that long and racking march of 36 hours over the unnamed mountains and glaciers of South Georgia it seemed to me often that we were four, not three. I said nothing to my companions on the point, but afterwards Worsley said to me, 'Boss, I had a curious feeling on the march that there was another person with us.' Crean confessed to the same idea. One feels 'the dearth of human words, the roughness of mortal speech' in trying to describe things intangible, but a record of our journeys would be incomplete without a reference to a subject very near to our hearts.

If we follow, God will guide us through all the trials of our lives.

Fight for your woman

In "Wild at Heart," John Eldredge writes that women need to know that they are worth fighting for. He shares some insight into his marriage to Stasi on p. 184:

Stasi married a frightened, driven man who had an affair with his work because he wouldn't risk engaging a woman he sensed he wasn't enough for. I wasn't mean, I wasn't evil. I was nice. And let me tell you, a hesitant man is the last thing in the world a woman needs. She needs a lover and a warrior, not a Really Nice Guy. Her worst fear was realized -- I will never really be loved, never really be fought for. And so she hid some more.

Years into our marriage I found myself blindsided by it all. Where is the beauty I once saw? What happened to the woman I fell in love with? I didn't really expect an answer to my question; it was more a shout of rage than a desperate plea. But Jesus answered me anyway. She's still in there, but she's captive. Are you willing to go in after her? I realized that I had -- like so many men -- married for safety. I married a woman I thought would never challenge me as a man. Stasi adored me; what more did I need to do? I wanted to look like the knight, but I didn't want to bleed like one. I was deeply mistaken about the whole arrangement. I didn't know about the tower, or the dragon, or what my strength was for. The number one problem between men and their women is that we men, when asked to truly fight for her. . .hesitate. We are still seeking to save ourselves; we have forgotten the deep pleasure of spilling our life for another.

As the holidays are upon us, remember men that you might have to stick up for your wife in front of your family of origin. I know that I will.

Love your neighbor

In the Bible, we are told to love our neighbor. How does that play out in real life, though? Jay Pathak and Dave Runyon explain how to do that in their book "The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door."

In this passage from the book, the authors explain that being a good neighbor is easier than we expect:

We all assume someone else is the expert. But when it comes to loving our neighbors, every situation is different. Every neighbor is different, and every person who is trying to love others has a variety of gifts to offer. We all have various strengths and weaknesses. But if we allow ourselves to get involved in the lives of others, miracles can happen. God can intervene and do amazing things.

Many years ago our friend David took over a struggling church that had become fairly stagnant and uninspiring. Most of the people in the church weren't relating with anyone outside the church, and they didn't really have any kind of connection to their city. David knew that something had to be done; he just didn't know what. So he attended conferences at other successful churches. He started reading every popular book he could get his hands on about church growth and health. It was after learning about many different options that he began to ask God which one should be the path for his church. In prayer he started laying out all the possibilities, hoping God would lead him toward the best road. That's when he heard God say something to him, and it wasn't what he expected to hear. He heard clearly from God, Just do something.

God just wants us to make some effort at being neighborly. We were built to connect with others.

Time with God

For many, daily quiet time with God is essential to have a successful day. On pp. 171-172 of Wild at Heart, John Eldredge goes into detail about why time with God is important:

Time with God each day is not about academic study or getting through a certain amount of Scripture or any of that. It's about connecting with God. We've got to keep those lines of communication open, so use whatever helps. Sometimes I'll listen to music; other times I'll read Scripture or a passage from a book; often I will journal; maybe I'll go for a run; then there are days when all I need is silence and solitude and the rising sun. The point is simply to do whatever brings me back to my heart and the heart of God. God has spared me many times from an ambush I had no idea was coming; he warned me in my time with him in the early morning about something that was going to happen that day. Just the other day it was a passage from a book about forgiveness. I sensed he was saying something to me personally. Lord, am I unforgiving? No, he said. About an hour later I received a very painful phone call -- a betrayal. Oh, you were telling me to be ready to forgive, weren't you? Yes.

God knows what we need. We just have to listen.

Risk taking with God

In "The Ultimate Treasure Hunt:  A Guide to Supernatural Evangelism Through Supernatural Encounters," Kevin Dedmon provides many interesting anecdotes about how God guides him to pray for specific people.

In one instance, however, God wanted to test Dedmon's willingness to take risk:

As I was standing on the curb, waiting for the teams to arrive, I noticed a young man walking toward me on the sidewalk. As he approached from about 50 yards away, a thought popped into my mind, 'Roger.' Is that a word of knowledge? I asked. All that I heard in response was, 'Roger.' By this time, the young man was about 20 yards away and quickly approaching. One more time I inquired, God, please let me know if this is a word of knowledge, and that You want me to minister to this young man. Once again, I heard 'Roger.'

The young man was now within ten yards, so I decided to take a risk and test out this word of knowledge I had received. So, as he began to pass me on the sidewalk, I said with as much confidence as I could muster, 'Excuse me, but is your name Roger?' I asked fully expecting that to be his name which would lead to an incredible divine appointment.

But, with a look of disdain, he jumped off the sidewalk, and said 'Noooo!' as if I were trying to 'pick up' on him. As he continued to walk down the street, I was filled with embarrassment, as it occurred to me how odd it was for a 45-year-old man to ask a 20-year-old if his name was 'Roger.'

Now, if his name had been Roger, I'm sure his response would have been different, but in this case, it just came off like I was some sort of predator. I thought about chasing him down to explain, but immediately realized that I would probably just make things worse. And then I thought, At least I did not say that God had told me that his name was Roger; at least I did not defame Christianity. He just thought I was a kook.

My next thought was, Thanks a lot, God. I just made a fool out of myself because I took a risk with a word of knowledge I thought You had given me. The response I heard shocked me, 'Kevin, I gave you the name 'Roger'.'

'What? You purposely gave me the wrong name?' I shot back. 'Yes, I did, because I want to see if you will continue to take risk even if you do not get the right information.' He went on to say that He was not interested in the success of the performance, but in the act of obedience, apart from the outcome.

For Dedmon, he considered this experience with God an indication that God is more interested in his risk taking than in his success.